mygraffiti

I had never found difficulty to pen my thoughts, comments or share ideas until and unless if it had nothing to do with my weight. Being over weight all my life I knew no one other than me can ever be better to write ...but it never happened. I was n't bold enough to target my closed arena. Today it happened to be a waiting time for my friend's blog post ( who's I wanted to read first).. . that got the bug in me to open its wings. I was so determined that it would be not of my recent experience that turned philosophical or my inner soul crying out to be heard...this long line would tell how much of hesitation I play upon to arrive at this point...ya I made up my mind to write the biggest biography of my life in this blog... My life as 'The Fattest'. I was never born fat ...yes an under weight baby ...makes it more funny...yes but thats the fact. I grew up to be fragile. It was the stay in my grandmom's house that changed the world around me..to say... in me. Bein

The sound of my heart beat, the ticking of the clock, a strong impulse to call someone I have long forgotten, humming a tune, aimless, the sound of the water drop in the sink, laughing alone for a long forgotten joke of my friend, remembering the sharp painful words that some one uttered to me, noting a new bloom, leaf counts in a tree ....uncountable, innumerable...all these are the song of a heart that is physically lonely...but mentally trying to be occupied...but there is an other song..sung in the depth of heart and soul, amidst multitude and large gathering, in between the laughter sounds of happy times, when more than a handful keep watch of one, when physical loneliness can never be heard of, in the tiniest corner of the filled up houses...a song, a tune that is...heard only to your ears, sung only by you ...but that which is only a strong blood drop pricking my deepest ventricle of my heart singing melancholic as its only composition.... no ear can hear ...no soul can comfor

The other day in the sink while I was washing the sharpest knife I had...something stuck me with beyond human experience. This time for no reason I washed it with the sharpest side facing me..never in my life I remember to have seen me do this....but I did. For a second the pursuit of washing ended switching over to the philosophy in me ( even during washing?!!!- great things get reminded out of ordinary affair..what to do that's philosophy). Chopping is so an ordinary affair but that which gets chopped goes through something hard in life...when the sharp side was towards me I felt as if I was one in the chopping board...it was an experience. Till today I haven't found words to express...I think everyone should personally go through this ..."if i am chopped ...i ll be refined but it always has a tag ...pain to loose natural self". Experiences are life's greatest benefactors, friends...but many a time we fail to get in close contact with it.

Without any delay I gave this title to the woman who surprised me on my way back home from gym. For a moment I was thinking I saw something and my brain failed to read it...but, hold on I am true...she had a pull trolley full of stuffs from lucky, an american grocery store ( did this drive me nuts...na na..) and a plastic bag full of stuffs hanging from every belt hook in the pant....just imagine her waist rounded up with lucky bags. The most thought provoking factor is that she had a little more place in her trolley to stuff in all these hanging bags... Should I call this stupidity or driven crazy or was she successful in her endeavour..made everyone watch her...and gave her a place in someone's blog. What ever be it...craziness has a strong hold in this World either to seek attention or make oneself "I am what I am"... Happy crazing...