mygraffiti

I had never found difficulty to pen my thoughts, comments or share ideas until and unless if it had nothing to do with my weight. Being over weight all my life I knew no one other than me can ever be better to write ...but it never happened. I was n't bold enough to target my closed arena. Today it happened to be a waiting time for my friend's blog post ( who's I wanted to read first).. . that got the bug in me to open its wings. I was so determined that it would be not of my recent experience that turned philosophical or my inner soul crying out to be heard...this long line would tell how much of hesitation I play upon to arrive at this point...ya I made up my mind to write the biggest biography of my life in this blog... My life as 'The Fattest'. I was never born fat ...yes an under weight baby ...makes it more funny...yes but thats the fact. I grew up to be fragile. It was the stay in my grandmom's house that changed the world around me..to say... in me. Bein

The sound of my heart beat, the ticking of the clock, a strong impulse to call someone I have long forgotten, humming a tune, aimless, the sound of the water drop in the sink, laughing alone for a long forgotten joke of my friend, remembering the sharp painful words that some one uttered to me, noting a new bloom, leaf counts in a tree ....uncountable, innumerable...all these are the song of a heart that is physically lonely...but mentally trying to be occupied...but there is an other song..sung in the depth of heart and soul, amidst multitude and large gathering, in between the laughter sounds of happy times, when more than a handful keep watch of one, when physical loneliness can never be heard of, in the tiniest corner of the filled up houses...a song, a tune that is...heard only to your ears, sung only by you ...but that which is only a strong blood drop pricking my deepest ventricle of my heart singing melancholic as its only composition.... no ear can hear ...no soul can comfor

The other day in the sink while I was washing the sharpest knife I had...something stuck me with beyond human experience. This time for no reason I washed it with the sharpest side facing me..never in my life I remember to have seen me do this....but I did. For a second the pursuit of washing ended switching over to the philosophy in me ( even during washing?!!!- great things get reminded out of ordinary affair..what to do that's philosophy). Chopping is so an ordinary affair but that which gets chopped goes through something hard in life...when the sharp side was towards me I felt as if I was one in the chopping board...it was an experience. Till today I haven't found words to express...I think everyone should personally go through this ..."if i am chopped ...i ll be refined but it always has a tag ...pain to loose natural self". Experiences are life's greatest benefactors, friends...but many a time we fail to get in close contact with it.

Without any delay I gave this title to the woman who surprised me on my way back home from gym. For a moment I was thinking I saw something and my brain failed to read it...but, hold on I am true...she had a pull trolley full of stuffs from lucky, an american grocery store ( did this drive me nuts...na na..) and a plastic bag full of stuffs hanging from every belt hook in the pant....just imagine her waist rounded up with lucky bags. The most thought provoking factor is that she had a little more place in her trolley to stuff in all these hanging bags... Should I call this stupidity or driven crazy or was she successful in her endeavour..made everyone watch her...and gave her a place in someone's blog. What ever be it...craziness has a strong hold in this World either to seek attention or make oneself "I am what I am"... Happy crazing...

It was days when I really went past this particular empty shop. It was during one of my glorious days, on my way to Gym that I found the monster had finally left its abode. It was a cigar shop that was right at the corner of my gym. It use to scare me ( i know not why). This shop was emptied and things were removed over night. the haunting was not bad but so sudden that I could n't take it or face it. It struck me then that recession has found its way into my neighbourhood. ever after I never went past the lane without throwing a glance at my empty monster's pandemonium. Today it was a surprise.. the pandemonium is again haunted back ...its a delightfull sight to see some one hoping for a new business. It stuck me immediately that recession is part of a social system but human hope is beyond that. Hope had captured and tuck recession under it...to be bossy ever after... It always falls but with a new hope to rise.

Have you ever been an victim to someone near and dear to heart, rip past their sanctimonious reverence, showing their exact self at times when they will have to be around to care n dare?. Though not a very personal experience, many a time it had crossed my mind of what the experience would sound like and feel like. When my friend told me of her husband who left her for an other woman and their child...I was frozen. My heart pounded over the future of my friend but, what would have been eating her...her future or her shattered belief that she pinned up with him right from the day they were married?... Its more painfull than that could be ever painfull. Its not that of self, her future or to be more detailed the society and its allegations, that she would be depressed off, but the sole hope of her life which was cruelly ripped off her without even leaving a trace to track it back into her life. Her future is bright but her hope and faith in humanity is long gone. When real faces show

I have found many practice the ideology of silence amidst the heavenly bodies in human attire -who exercise ruthlessness and irrational verbose in defending their self. I have wondered how long would anybody be able to put up with these hypocrits, especially in these times when even an innocent illiterate demands humanism. Alas! the one who endure are to be found to endure only at the cost of their own self esteem and inner peace but, for those who have faced it with courage and attitude all lthat is required are handful of smart 'smash on the face' replies. Do ever anyone of these irrational beings ever need a' spare me once oh good angel ' treatments..na...I don't agree. A casue is worth suffering only when one can taste the sweetness of its fruits ...if otherwise...come on humnaity face th eworld with courage and boldness...its u r life any ways.

What is Emancipation? if some one gets uprooting every other dictionary and book to look out for the definition..I would say..ask your grandmom. Carried away with the word women power, equality and emancipation women throw themselves to the butt and redicule of everyman they come across. Emancipation from what? of what? for what? to leave the new born baby into cold handed day care regime from as soon as 3 months or to stop nursing it for the unextendable maternity leave?. Much of the emancipation highlights are what we intended to do not what we are capable of. The very biological differneces that call for clear bifercated role play is the most sacrificied , subdued part in women. The care, love n affection that once were termed only after mother is shared with man just to crown 'herself' to be posing as emancipated. Freedom at the cost of what? at the lose of our own identity of womanhood. The other side is always greener. For a person who knows not the value of self, Emancip